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Thursday, 8 March 2012

Hope , Faith , Belief !

Sitting in the room and listening to the deep silence spread all across , I wonder if he will ever get to know , will he ever care and think about what went wrong ?
   People say - Everything in life is temporary : Love , Money , Beauty . But one thing that stays forever and never fades is FRIENDSHIP .
How should i feel after all this ? I ask myself . And i have nothing as a satisfactory answer . The person i cared about the most , rather i care for him even now , doesn't acknowledge my feelings . He actually feels after all this while its nothing more than ' sort of addiction ' and its better to think for ourselves now . Its just the ' need ' that draws us unconditionally towards each other .
So , i ask myself - Is it true ? Was it selfish on my part that i gave a Thumbs up  to this friendship expecting the same in return ? My mind says Yes , maybe he is right in his own way . Maybe yes , i had become selfish and possessive about my BEST FRIEND .
A tear rolls down my cheek , as i think that after all this time am i questioning my friendship ? But with all my gathered confidence and faith , i ask my Heart to prove me wrong . FINE ! I am possessive because i am worried that he is still a child at heart and feel like protecting him from this world . I am selfish because i can't see when he doesn't bother about me and just cares about his other friends . If expecting time and  the same care from the same person is a crime , then i am SORRY .
Surrounded by loneliness and the vacuum created around , the only thing that still i have is HOPE . Even a stopped clock shows the correct time twice a day . No matter how long the tunnel is , in the end a ray of light brightens everything around .
My heart still dosen't believe that my bestie didn't understand this , all this and left . I  feel like a girl lost in the maze roaming from one possible direction to the others in the hope of finding my friend at the exit .
Everything , when i was in pain , tears , and heartbreak , you were with me . But now , i realize copying the loss of your lover is still easy because you know you have an IDIOT sitting beside you , cracking all the silly jokes and making you realize that the person was not worth you , insulting him to every possible limit .
But now , i have no one , after you my friend have left me . I try my best to think of all the bad , hurtful things he said to me and insulting to the core . But alas ! My heart has surrendered and the only thing it says repeated is ' Come back , i will no longer be the same without you . You bring the best out of me , without you , its only the Rest of me ' .
I wish i could have opened my heart in front of him and told him all the things i wanted to . But , deep inside i know he would be feeling the same too .
HOPE , FAITH , BELIEF were just words until now . Now , i realize it is the only thing left with me . I promised i would never leave you - in thick and thin , joy and sorrow , wealth and poverty .
Maybe you don't need me anymore , but this " Lost Puppy " will always be looking for you .
You will always be my " Best Friend " . You define its defination for me . Trust me , you really do !
      I remember singing this song for him :
               " Kar tu chalna shuru , Teere peeche main hun ,
                 Teere peeche peeche main , mere aage aage tu " .
Wishing you all the Happiness , Love , Wealth and hoping all your dreams turn into reality .
   Love from the core ,
Your Lost puppy .

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