How much is too much?

Hello people, its been quite some time that I posted something on my blog. So, here I am comfortably sitting inside my blanket, and laptop and thinking about what exactly to write down?
So, I am not really a person who goes out and mingle up with people in the very first go I meet them, but if someone is nice to me, I do not hesitate to be nice to the person and helpful either.

So, I happened to meet this guy in class who asked me for my notes as he had missed those particular classes. I asked him the reason for doing so, to which he replied " Kahin bhi jaane ke liye waqt chahiye hota hai, aur jab voh hi kam padne lage toh insaan kya kare? " ( To reach any place you need time, and if the time starts running out, what will the person do then? )

I didn't really realize what he meant initially, and thought of him as someone who likes responding to people with his own delusional answers.But something about him was intriguing. I went on to question him further as of what his reply meant.
He told me that his father has Hemiparesis (Half Paralysis) and mother is fighting with Cancer. So, he has to take them for routine check ups and works as a typist and short hand assistant in the High Court, as he is the only earning source.
It wasn't something I have never been exposed to. We all know that people around us are battling with so many things, some of which we cant even imagine ourselves in.
In the meanwhile, the teacher came and started with the routine class.
I didn't really think much about it, after the class. While coming back, I went to a bakery shop to buy some stuff where I saw another girl asking her mom to get her a pastry. The mother was reluctant not to get her one, because of her Sugar problem. It saddened me, the girl was barely 7-8 years old.

Coming back home, I realized we have so much and yet curse friends, stalkers, relatives, circumstances, situations, destiny, luck and what not just to gain 2 minutes of happiness which we get after consoling and satisfying ourselves from the shallow lies.
For some, a little is more than enough, and for others even too much is less.
How do we decide for ourselves, how much is too much or enough for us?
Maybe we all know that, or maybe we will never know.

That one thing.

Its been a long time, when i wrote something last, no specific reasons but still a few. I don't want to get in the intricacies but to keep it simple I lost that temperament to write.
But now I am back, and ready to be in touch with you guys. Another thing I have noticed is that the last post I wrote on was on 2nd Jan 2014. Almost a year, and now I am back. Yes, i do realize its a long time.
So, like ever, I too had a new year resolution last year. And sadly, it came out to be of no use. The resolution was to focus and concentrate on one thing. I gave myself a lot of time to do the same. But the irony is, the whole time i couldn't find that one thing. Apparently i tried my hand in a lot of things but still that one thing didn't click.
Now, you might be thinking of a very good question as of why suddenly looking out for that one thing? Umm.. You see, its a genuine question and simple as well. Any motivational, biography, autobiography you read you will read one line for sure, fashioned in one way or the other. According to the books, all these people had a calling - that ONE THING that made them forget everything else, it was their everything - Love, passion, madness.
But ultimately after giving myself ample time, I realized maybe i am abnormal or something, but i seriously couldnt find that One thing as such.
There could be reasons to it - Maybe I love so many things, that I cant choose out of the lot. Or, the fact that I am a good multi-tasker and since I can manage things well, I don't find the need to pick and choose. And above all, the fact that I am a Saggitarian - We tend to get bored with things right?
Anyways, whatever the reason is, I am glad that I am happy in this space. A place where you don't have to pressurize yourself for things that you tend to see and assume you should need to adopt since everyone else does, even when you have no need to make changes in that order.
So, Finally I have come to the conclusion that do as many things as you love as long as you are doing it good. And for me, I have realized I love way too many things to let even one of them off my list - Writing, Fashion, Designing, Reading people, Helping people, Fashion Photography.
So, now how I put it is Find the things you love, and let them consume you. And when you get a bit bored, you know how to shift and indulge in your other love for sometime.
And probably the one thing of which you are never bored of is You -Yourself!
From now on, I will also post the picture of the day with my blogpost for fun.

From where I am writing, at the moment. Peace and Serenity. 

2013 : Thank you for everything!

2014.

I had read somewhere no matter how many people you meet or how many places you see, you might change but your Core remains the same. So True. The year and date has changed, but still we are the same. You dont change with the passing year, as people say : This year i'll change for good or bad or whatever! Do people change? Can you ever actually change?

I am back on my blog after a long time. Things have been keeping me busy and most of all, i didn't feel like writing. Not the professional one but for my blog. Writing here is more of choice rather than duty for me. A time had come when i was doing and struggling for things on my own that i almost went into a shell and didnt want to share it.

But now, am here. It has nothing to do with " New Year, New Start " theory. I don't believe in it. I did maybe till last year, but not now. You always have reasons to believe something.

2013 was a special year. I have been reading and talking to people where they tell that it was a terrible one and they surprisingly curse it. I also had my amount of problems and hardships, some of which were really bad. But the truth is every bad and the best comprises who you are today. So, instead of being sorry or sad about the fact why it happened to you, thing of those infinite things which could happen but then they just didn't.

Everyday you learn from life. Its a strict teacher. The most important thing i learnt in 2013 is the fact that if you work hard for it, you will reach there and get it. 

2013 started on a good note. Semester started on an average note. Engineering as i always say seems like a solid rock to me ; Yes! That hard. Just on the next day when my semester exams got over, I went to Delhi. A whole new thing was waiting for me : Russia! Your first foreign experience is always memorable for you. Plus, this was more amazing. Going to a whole new place alone, on your own. The one and a half month internship experience taught me so much. One of the best things in 2013 was surely this experience. 

And then came the book! Well, we are still working on it, but it is definitely one thing which has my heart into it. I never thought writing a book will happen so soon, but i feel so good and proud that it did.

These are all the good things. There are umpteen number of things bundled along with these two.  Met some amazing people. 

With good comes little bad as well. But that seems so little or minute when i look at the good things!

I feel so blessed and loved. 2013 was amazing !! I have realized one thing. You never have time as such to thank people in your life who do so much for you. I'm also the same. But all those i can think of right now, i want to thank them. Genuinely! 

First and foremost : My Parents and my brother. I have never come across anyone as cool and liberal as them. Sending me all alone to Russia was difficult. They believe i'm a kid and sending your child abroad when you yourself don't have a passport at the moment, you can imagine how it would be. But they never even once stopped me. I had filled up all the forms, gone for applying the visa on my own, literally did everything on my own. They had no clue till the end what i was upto. But they believed in me and encouraged me to go. I love you , no matter what. Thank you for supporting me.

Atankshu: The first thing i think about the last year of the bad times, is the time when i was hospitalized in Beijing. It was terrible. No money in pocket and already admitted in an international hospital. It would always be less of how much I thank you. Russia happened because of you, you were the one who initially forced me to fill up the form. 2013 was one of the best years with you. I cant write about you. I don't know what all to write about you, you already know everything. Thank you for being there for me always.

Amanpreet Kamboj : It seems so weird writing your complete name. Hahaha ! Anyways, you became my friend in 2013, and now it feels like ages. You have been with me through thick and thin. I can just say thank you to you. You have been a rock solid support throughout and may 2014 be more amazing and fruitful for our friendship. 

Mridul : I remember talking to you for the first time and thinking  " Umm.. He's not that bad as i imagined him to be! " Well, You became my friend when things were going rough and i needed someone to be with. I tell you, we shared a lot and what we share now is something i value a lot. You have been there for me before i could ask for help. Thank you Mridul! 

Jas: Its been few months only now, that i've known you. What all you did for my birthday, from the cake to the video, i was amazed. I never imagined someone could put in so much just to make the other one feel special and happy. You're such a sweet girl and so down to earth. Its wonderful to have you as my friend. Thank you. You made my birthday memorable!

Piyush : I dont know what went wrong, or has. But i read somewhere " When you know things have started getting hard in any relationship, its better to let it be and leave it rather than making the memories bitter ". I know no matter what, you'll always be there for me and that feeling is mutual. Thank you for being there for me. You'll always be special to me and trust me when i say that.

Nikhil : Mr. Co-author! You have been more a guide and friend to me. Its all about the vibes as i say. And they were right with you, somehow that is why it clicked. I remember the time you asked me to collaborate with you on a project, my instant reaction was Are you like serious? Writing a book! From then till now, it has been so good. You are a very nice and dedicated guy. Thank you for believing in me and my work and also encouraging me.

Nikita: Coming to Delhi and spending time with you was so wonderful. I remember the day before i had to leave for Russia, Delhi was already so much fun. From shopping to watching " Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani " First day Third show. Hahaha.. Thank you for comforting me and making the time memorable.

Ashmin, Manveer, Sairish, Sanjana, Hitesh, Varun, Lipsa, Anshu, Bharat, Claire, Seerat : Thank you for putting a smile on my face. I may not have said it then, but now when i think of 2013, i think of you guys being there for me whenever i needed you!
And a special Thank you to all my friends back there in Russia. Thank you for making me feel at home. The time spent with you was amazing and will be in my heart forever! 

Life is too short to complain and sit back crying for things. Love, respect and acknowledge people who have been with you. Don't wait for an occasion to do that. And probably for the one's who make new year resolutions, make sure you fulfill them as well and for the other ones like me, I have promised myself to be more focused, consistent and thankful to God for everything rather than asking for more.

" Unhone poccha iss saal kya karne ki chah hai,

Chahatein toh vahin hai joh pehle thi, tareekh se chah nahi badalti ! " 

Dreams : My Home!

Here I am. Yes, still alive. Days are just passing by, and again i miss my favorite thing in the world, which is of course : Writing.
It seems like ages, since i have written something on my blog. People ask me of why i don't write up that much or why am not that vivid writer now, but my answer is the very same. Writing always captures some emotions. And you gotta be rolling into them, to pen it down finally.
This dame is the same. Mixed emotions. More of good though.
There are hell lot of things which you think when you go off to bed. That man/women, the Car, that awesome  Bike, your parents, of why he/she doesn't or didn't love you back, and what not. Same goes with me. But everyday one thing goes with me to bed and i wake up taking it to me along for the day, just to keep it safe. The Hunger and Passion for my work. Seriously i mean it. The people who know me will agree to this, am sure.
Not very far ago, there was a time when i had no idea of what i wanted to be, or of what will i end up doing. With all the struggles and self realization books i read, i knew what it was. My hunger was no longer unknown to me and to the people around. And then, somehow with time I now finally know how to keep it safe.

" I like the night. Without the dark, you would never see the stars".

A lot of people ask me the reason of pursuing engineering, despite being so crazy about writing, literature, and stuff. Somethings in life are planned and you probably can't challenge them. You accept the fact that somethings do happen for a reason. I remember telling my dad, about the newly found passion I had for writing. He smiled to me and said :
" Dreaming is beautiful, protecting your dream is Difficult".

Since then, every night before i sleep, i tell myself no matter how hard it is or is gonna be, i'll protect my dream - from all the criticism, laugh, objections and questions. I know this sounds funny and crazy, but yes it is true.
You can never be more crazy about something, more than how much you can be for your dreams. Never underestimate, or be sorry for your dreams.
"Dreams are very powerful,  they know there way".
So, be proud, confident, and take pride for what you believe in.
 I dedicate this post to a girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old, whom I met in a grocery shop today. She had come to buy a facial cream. She didn't even know the name of the cream she had come to buy as it was written on a piece of paper which was given to her by the lady, in whose home she probably worked as a maid. The shopkeeper gave him some 3 rupees less in return, as he didn't have the change. The girl looked the money she was given back in her hand, and she almost figured out something's fishy.
" Is it all what you had to give me, she asked politely? ". The shopkeeper smiled wickedly and said yes, and now better go home, this is all what had to be returned. And one must be educated to understand this, he commented sarcastically.
" I go to school, and learning maths slowly. You can keep the 3 rupees indeed. She said and left."
So proud. To be a dreamer and To see that little girl working to achieve her dream.

The Story Untold Part 1

It was raining heavenly. Sandy looked secretly in Sidhak's eyes,as he was driving the car, just to make sure if she could get any hint to confirm to what all was going in her mind. With all the calculations going on right in her mind, she switched on the music player. To her surprise, a romantic Shreya ghoshal number started playing. She wanted to ask him about the drastic change from Pink Floyd to soft hindi songs.  From when did you started listening to romantic hindi songs? She asked. Just a while, was his blunt reply.
Now, before she could possibly think of any further thing to carry on the conversation, he stopped the car. Here it is, your home. The party was nice and so were you, he said. Really? she thought to her while she was smiling. He opened the car window, as she was still thinking about her stupidity.
Bye then, he said in a manly voice. Bye, goodnight.
She walked towards her home, to simply recall and analyze of what all conversation they had in the car.
And with force, she opened the gate. Sandy, how was the party?her mom asked. Yeah, it was good. she explained of how tired she was and also that she had no space for dinner.Her mother was trying to figure out about the confused expression she had on her face.
The moment she entered the room, the first thing done by her was standing in front of the mirror and see of how she was looking and of what would  Sidhii would be thinking about her.
"You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset ; she's going off about something that you said.." rang her phone. Aaah ! It was vishal, her best friend. She picked up the call thinking to inquire if he had also reached back safely after the party.
Sandy, you okay? he asked. Why in this world would i not be okay if Sidhii dropped me home, silly ! she said while jumping on her bed. No, i meant casually. So, did you guys like talked? Vishal inquired.
Vishal, its like the same story. We hardly talked. But it was still mesmerizing. Just being with him feels so right, so good, she said with a smile on her face. I hope it works out for you, he said a little low with his tone.
Hmm, chalo, i am really tired now, Planning to sleep. Good night then, said Sandy. Yes, bye and good night, said Vishal.
After all the girly things - from changing her clothes, to removing the makeup, to moisturizing her face, everything was done. All packed up in the quilt, she thought to herself, she realized, she didnt even ask Vishal if he had reached home. Shit, how could i be so dumb, she cursed herself as all these thoughts linked up in her mind. Moving on, she thought about the party, the dance, the food( a little), the glossy dresses her friends were wearing, of all the small special moments ; Vishal's confession of how pretty she looked, to a lot more. But still, the only thing at that point of time, which stood above all was Sidhak asking her if it's okay if he dropped her home. That was IT. Nothing more she could have asked for. Yeah, she knew she loved that guy freaking madly, and maybe he doesn't. Or it's just liking from his side. But if this is how God has made it to be, then she'll end up making him love her. Said that. Period. She just didnt want to think anything more than this.
Her mind was engulfed with a lot of thoughts. To be simple. it was as follows:-
A loves B (freaking madly). B likes no one (has got something, yeah a very little thing for B though).  C loves A (yes, the heavy word, Love). A cares a lot about C. Now, what to do !
It was not that her feelings were not known to Sidhak. He believed, she shouldn't take herself that seriously and give it some time. On the other hand, Vishal had the belief, that where there is Love, nothing else is needed.
Admist this, there was Sandy,who simply wanted Love. No complications, nothing.

Adieu 2012 ! 2013 - Please be nice ;)

Eureka ! This is what all I had been thinking past many days. So, the year is about to end in some 5 more days and I had been thinking past some days of what all this year made me learn. Hmm...Not many people think about that, but as you might have seen by now, I have this weird habit of analyzing things. While they are going on, when they're done, you know for that prolonged period of time. So, here's what all i have analyzed. Sharing it with you people with the hope that you also take some time to jot down what did the year teach you and how better and skilled you're to deal with LIFE than the previous year. That's what it is all about. Right ?

1. Something always dreaming of doing :
If today was my last day, and I had to thank God , keeping aside my family and for the life i lived , it would be to attain the very fact of my existence. To make me realize what i live for and doing what makes me happy. It seems a very small thing to hear or read - " I am doing what I always wanted to do. Its Overwhelming ! ".
To explain this is very simple. To make you aware what I actually mean. What is common between Shahrukh Khan , Aamir Khan , Salman Khan ? Or Mamta Banerjee and Narendra Modi ? Or Sachin Tendulkar and Peter Burge ?  They're living the life they always imagined to. Yes, they're doing exactly of what they dreamt of doing some day. How many of us get to experience that in our life ?
How many of us are pursuing our interests, or something we are really passionate about ? The year came with that fulfillment and joy to me. I found and started what i love doing. Writing ! 

2012 , I'll be always indebted to you for giving me the satisfaction and joy nothing could have given me. 

2. Relationship status :
Lot of my friends went from "Single" to "In a Relationship". While few went back to Square one- "Single". Other's still were in the bracket of "Its Complicated". And all my salutes to those, who had the guts to declare "Separated" instead of saying "Single".
Well, 2012 has been good with me. I learnt a lot of things in terms of relationships, love and if not more. The most important thing the year taught me regarding this very aspect was to Love, Respect and above all Value the people who love you. Quick take :-
a) Firstly, Don't run after people who are not people but machines. Yes, the one's who don't have the program installed in them to understand about a simple things - Emotions.
b) Never underestimate yourself. He dumped you, hell with him/her. You dumped him/her, maybe the person deserved it or maybe you didn't have any other viable option. ( I'm assuming here that you didn't dump the person for some 3rd person , and if you did then probably its not worth giving an advice ).
c) And for those, who wanna know my status, well I'm in a very happy place. So, 2012 , you held my finger and made me one more step further where i was last year, in understanding people, their emotions and Love on a whole.

3. Hope, Faith , Belief :
My first blog was dedicated to this very thing. The year made me more calm, and let things go. Have faith and believe in yourself and above all God. Between everything, the problems, the failures and the tensions exists Hope and Faith, that it'll be fine soon and Belief that whatever happens, happens for good. Everything is well that ends well :)

4. Without Fear, without Hate
Nirbhau, Nirvair.  Its the punjabi effect I guess. But absolutely true. Never fear anything and yes never hate anything or anybody. You know, throught life people will make you mad, disrespect you, will make you mad. Let God deal with the things they do, because Hate in your heart will consume you too.

The year made me stronger and maturer. So, here I am wishing all you guys a very Happy and prosperous 2013, and yeah also congratulations ! The world did not end. A film wasted, tension, predictions and what not. 2013- A simple wish, Please be nice ;)
 To conclude, Live your life like there's no tomorrow. Party hard and above all, stay Safe.

To all who i can recall :)

Am I alive, YES ! This is in response to the numerous messages that flooded my inbox on Facebook, while i was on a break. You know, its pretty strange when you get a message that reads "DOA" ?
The break was unintentional. Maybe you need some time with yourself, off from the world and then you feel rejuvenated ! ( Does that make any sense btw ? ) Maybe it does. At least for me.
These exams, as I always say test the patience of the students, I don't know about the knowledge part though. Patience of how much you can take ! I sometimes wonder of what part of the knowledge they actually check. Of cramming or of concepts ! Pheww... Any ways, am happy that its just over and the festive  season is back. Am all excited and all set for shopping spree.
So, this blog post is dedicated to the one's who are there in our lives and are important. Yes, I mean we don't really have a name for the relation we have with them. You just know them maybe from childhood, or through a social networking site but you really connect with them. You immediately become friends and the bond is really nice. You know, the good vibe giving relation.
I have been thinking off lately, to message all my dear ones on phone and on facebook ( for the one's who are not in my phone contacts ) to just say that i miss them, like seriously. But then, i decided to dedicate this post to all those whom i seriously miss and love. You guys mean a lot even if we are not in daily contact now. P.S. - Don't mind if your name is not mentioned. Its maybe because of time shortage. You're special, and no matter what, i still remember you. You know i mean it :)

Firstly, i take the chance to apologise my friend, Guncha. Trust me, i lost your contact and since i was not on facebook all this while, i couldn't message you there. Baby i am sorry. I know you're 19, and all grown up. But for me, you're the same old one who came in my section 5-C and whom i loved the most. I miss you and Shreya to the core. I miss us. And this is just to say " I miss you ". You've grown out to be so pretty giraffe ! Just stay the way you are future lawyer. Always ! Give my regards to Uncle and Aunty Jiya ( see i remember everything )  .

Shreya, its simple. I love you. I miss how you ate lunch from my tiffin. I miss how we used to roam in the school ground. I miss the outings we had. Of the days spent at your home. You're one of the few people i remember like instantly from school. And yes, mom misses you and Guncha too :)

Next, ummm...Its Chandni. ( This is not in priority order, so don't take it otherwise ), i remember you like from 1st class I guess. We have had a lot of fun moments, and I remember the swimming clusters that I have attended with you and Vani. I miss you Chandni and even Varenya. You were my mates from the begning of the school. We have done the craziest things together. Going to the washroom together, preparing fro tests, playing Ghar- Ghar ( you remember of how we used to store the pencil garbage as the left over food in desks ? ) It was insane but also so cute. You and Varenya , i miss you guys man.

Bhaghirathi, i remember how my other friends used to get angry that i always hang out with you in school in breaks and all. I remember reading Children's Digest together. You know the best part has always been the trip. The memories i have of class 5th trip, Uttranchal, Haridwar , Nanital. Then, with Guncha, Shreya of the Rajasthan trip. Golden days ! No matter where you are today and how much we talk but yes Ms. future engineer, i miss you and the days spent with you are really special.

Apurva, you and i were very good friends. I don't know what went wrong and why we stopped talking, but yes, you are amongst the people i remember from school. All the best Apurva, for your future. The time spent with you will always be something that i'll cherish :)

Sanchi, i guess i have spent whole of my 10th class with you. Nunio, you are amazing. A kid actually. Of 10th, i remeber things the most. You, Guncha, Ayushi, Adil, Asif wani ( how can i ever forget him ? ), in my section.. All the time spent with you has been like truely wonderful. Stay blessed and don't forget me :P Needless to say, i mess you Sanchi, and i wish those days could come back.

Sheran, I have always said you are my brother. I guess we were in the same class from L.K.G. Awesome right ? You have always been there for me and i know we have not been in much contact now, but this is to tell you that you have been missed and i remember Tavleen, Varun, Akul, Harsharan , kinda everybody till date. Your silly things, how you guys used to tease me with names. Stay happy and give my regard to uncle and Aunty :)

Shagun, meri jaan. What should i say. I love you. You understand me so well. Like everything ! I can't write about you. The times spent in Maths tution, of what all i did for you ( the setting part ), its been amazing. Mom asks about you like everytime. I know i don't call you much and don't meet you often but baby i miss you. What all we did. And you know what's the best part ? Whenever we talk, it feels as if we talked yesterday only. And i love the way how you say, chal updates dena shuru kar ! I love you. Enough said.

Phalguni, I don't know of how to say it. But if i have to put it in simple words, its Thank you ! For the things you did for me. You'll always be a friend. Whatever happened is past. Never had anything against you. Stay happy :)

Hamza, Aditya, Siddhant, Purnima, Irika,Shilpy I remember you guys too. Not in contact, but still. Time spent with you was good. All the best for your future. Hope and wish you the best !

Atankshu, Kya bolun tumhe ? I fight with you like crazy and you make up for everything everytime ( except a  few ). You know what you mean to me. Mom yells at me when i fight with you. You're a friend, guide, philosopher. You are one person i know who'll is here to stay for life. You are truely special. I don't know how you tolerate me but then you do, so Thank you :D And, the best thing is how you always say- Lets talk, no problem is bigger than the understanding we share. Ego side par rakho aur chup chap baat karo. Its EPIC ! Just stay the way you are. Love and best wishes hamesha :) If it was in my hands i could have written  essays in your tareef but you know everything. Right ? Enough said. We Rock (Y)

Varun Anand, kya bolun ? You are like insane. As i say, the mystery guy. Weird, but like totally different. You know things you talk sometimes seem unreal to me, but then as it is you who narrates them, so its gotta be unusual. You know there are some people with whom you can talk knowing they'll not judge you, are are one amongst them. Stay the way you are. You are nice ! :)

Sujata- MMC, was just about being vella. You were the one seated next to me. I remember discussing thing with you. You have been a great listener. Am happy that you connect with my blogs and the relationship we share is not something i can pen in words. Thank you ! Simple. Stay happy and All the best for everything in future.

Himangi, Priyambada dii , Maddy dii, Khushi dii, Niharika dii , the days spent with you seem like a dream to me. Its ended so soon. But Kota was good because of you guys. I have missed you guys a lot especially Himangi and Priyambada dii . You know dii, it was amazing to find you and talk to you on facebook. Stay the way you guys are, and i really miss the time i spent with you all :)

Nawaz bhai - Aaapko toh sab se pehle Thank you. You know, if today am into writing its because of you. You encouraged me and always put a smile on my face. I am so happy for you ( you know why ). Stay blessed always. You have made this kiddo turn into a writer by encouraging at the time when i needed it the most. Thank you !

You know i have learnt one thing or the other from you guys. Form school till college, i remember you all, whichever way it may be.I guess, i would need another post for my college friends !
All the best wishes, good luck and i miss you guys ! And i hope to hear some good words back about myself too in return ;)